Talk to your children openly and honestly in terms they can understand. Younger children are literal and concrete in their thinking. Don't be surprised at questions they may ask.

Do not conclude that children are not grieving because they continue to play normally and appear happy. They grieve for short periods according to their level of tolerance.

Continue effective parenting and nurturing to the best of your ability. Routine is important for children of all ages through this traumatic transition. Enlist the help of other adults with whom you and your child feel safe.

Do not assume you know how a child feels. Set aside some time for children to express themselves. Be a good listener as you allow a wide range of emotions to evolve. A healthy outlet for anger is important. Young children will often express feelings through play and drawings.

Explain the illness or death and the cause, if known. Children often feel they are to blame for the death. They will need assurance when they ask:

Did I cause the death? Will I die too? Who will take care of me if you die?

Maintain open communication with clergy, teachers, and school counselors. Have the courage to seek professional counseling if you are unsure or unable to cope with your own grief.